Jess Goes Running: 2017 Chicago Half Marathon

I just realized that I never wrote up a race recap for this year's Chicago Half Marathon back at the end of September!  I guess tapering for a marathon will do that for you, haha--to say I was a little preoccupied with other things is an understatement.

Well, if I could sum up the half in one word, it would be this: HOT!

This was my 3rd time running the event (2014 and 2015), and Tom's 2nd.  Last year, I signed up for it but was unable to run as I was dealing with all the issues with my foot.  Needless to say, I was really excited for the opportunity to get back at it!  I was planning on using it as a training run for marathon training; that week I was scheduled for 12 miles for the long run, so 13.1 didn't really seem like much of a stretch.  At that point, I had already done my longest outings of training and compared to the distances I'd gone in the previous few weeks, a half marathon seemed like nothing.

I wasn't planning on going for a PR, which was good because it wouldn't have happened anyway.  The days leading up to the race, we watched the weather forecast with dread--it was going to be a scorcher, with high temps and high humidity.  To say I was unhappy about the weather is an understatement, but there was nothing I could do about it except stay hydrated and slow down.  We ended up catching a ride down to Jackson Park with my mother-in-law, who was coming with as a spectator.  Right around sunrise it was comfortable but as the morning progressed, it only got warmer and warmer.

I knew the sun was going to be brutal so I made sure to apply ample sunscreen.  I also wore a hat, which I both appreciated and could have done without.  I loved having my own personal shade but it was really hot and I had to take it off more frequently than I would have liked.  The conditions were pretty rough, but I was still proud of how I was doing despite it.  I actually felt like I did a pretty good job of keeping it together during the first half of the race.  Then I got to mile 7, and it fell apart a little bit.  I was still optimistic but I was tired, and hot.  I was excited to make it to the turnaround point of the out and back, and I pushed my legs to keep going as I headed back down south towards Jackson Park again.

Truthfully, miles 8-13.1 were mostly about survival.  I figured as long as I maintained forward motion, I was in a good place.  During the second half of the race, I came across more runners than I was comfortable with being tended to by Race Guards or by paramedics.  The weather really was just brutal.  At this point the aid stations and medic tents were handing out bags/gloves of ice and I was more than happy to oblige them in their offerings (and, yes, may have shoved a glove full of ice down my sports bra, haha).  It was tough but I never quit, I kept going--doing a lot more walking than I normally would have wanted--and kept moving towards the finish line.

In past years participating in this race, rounding the corner and seeing the Statue of the Republic, the Golden Lady in all her glory, would have filled me with relief, happiness, pride, excitement, would have even moved me to tears.  This year, I was just happy to be done.  I still had a little bit of gas left in the tank and I gave it my all during those last few tenths of the race, crossing the finish line as strong as I could.  When all was said and done, I finished with an official time of 2:58:58.  Definitely not my fastest time, but given the extenuating circumstances I was just happy that I finished under three hours.

I got through the finisher chute, receiving sustenance and hydration and my medal (a beauty!) before trying to find Tom and his mom.  I was feeling a lot of emotions, most of them angry and annoyed, which actually kind of amused me combined with the runner's high I still had.  I was fired up!  Finally, I located them and made my way to the Evanston Running Club area, where I sat down and drank some Gatorade and reflected on the race.  I didn't, and don't, regret doing it, but I certainly wish the weather had been nicer.  Looking back on it now, I was in a position where my psyche and confidence regarding the marathon were still pretty shaky.  (I honestly don't even know if I really thought I would actually be doing it until I was standing in the starting chute on that sunny October day, but that is a post for another time).

Despite the conditions, the volunteers and race marshals were incredible!  I definitely would not have gotten through it without them.  I know it was probably a tough day for them too but they kept everything moving smoothly and everyone as hydrated as they could.  This has been my experience every year I've done this race and it's one of the the things that keeps me signing up every year.

At this point, I am planning on doing it again next year (as part of my marathon training, assuming I get in to Chicago again for 2018).  I am also thinking I might try to do a half marathon in the spring; Tom is running the Wisconsin Marathon in May, and there is also a half marathon the same day that I'm considering signing up for.  There is also the Chicago Spring Half Marathon (which is the other half of the Chicagoland Half Marathon Series).  Decisions!  In any case, I think signing up for a race will help me get back into the groove of motivations, and will also give me something to look forward to.  I love the half marathon distance, so I'll need something to tide me over until September 2018!

Jess Goes Running: A Marathon Weekend, A Recovery Staycation

Hi!  It's still crazy to me that only a few days ago I ran and completed the 2017 Bank of America Chicago Marathon.  Just a moment that is full of magic, a memory that I will be drawing on as inspiration for many months to come.  I wrote about the race itself, the morning leading up to and the moments directly afterwards, but of course, there are details of the overall experience that I've left out up until this point... it's time to change that!  While the race is obviously the pinnacle of things, a lot happened both before the marathon and afterwards!  It truly was a marathon weekend of sorts.

Last Friday, I met Tom at work.  We took the brown line to the green line in order to get to McCormick Place for the Abbott Health and Fitness Expo.  The weather really was not pleasant; it was rather drizzly and cold.  We got to McCormick Place and then made the long walk to the Lakeside Center.  Seeing the signage and the obvious vastness of the expo before we even stepped inside was pretty intense, and I have to say, that was when it was really starting to hit me what I was about to undertake.  We checked in, went to get our bib numbers, then walked through the expo to get our shirts.

Wow, it was unlike any race expo that I'd ever been to, and I have been to many!  There were so many different sponsors and vendors.  We got our gear bags and t-shirts in the back of the huge expo hall, then continued our way through the line of booths.  Of course, we had to stop for a photo before leaving:

If we weren't ready for the marathon before the expo, it definitely put us in the mood!  The weather had turned much more rainy and miserable, so instead of taking the CTA home we decided to get a Lyft instead.  It was rush hour on a rainy Friday evening, so the drive back was slow, but our driver and fellow Line passenger were both very chill and it was an enjoyable ride.  On the way home, we ordered dinner from Calo Ristorante in Andersonville... can you guess what was on the menu?

Spaghetti and meatballs, salad, garlic bread.  Delicious!  We ended up getting takeout beef and broccoli for dinner on Saturday night, as our pre-race dinner.  It was the perfect mixture of fiber and protein and was very filling. While we're on the subject, Saturday was a day for preparation and rest.  I actually ended up having to work from 5 am-3 pm but in a way, it was good because it kept me moving and loose and also kept me on an easy schedule.  That night, I just made sure that my gear check bag and my marathon day clothing was all in order and ready to go.  My hip had been bothering me since after my run on Friday afternoon (my last run of training a 2.4 mile outing up to campus and back) and I was concerned that it would hamper my running abilities on Sunday morning.  Luckily, it didn't bother me at all during the marathon and hasn't bothered me since.

After the race on Sunday afternoon, we were exhausted!  We took the red line back up to Edgewater, crawled back to the apartment, and took the best showers of our lives.  For the rest of the evening, we pretty much just sat on the couch in a happy (and sore!) haze, ordered a pizza and cheesy garlic bread from JB Alberto's, and went to bed early--early and in pain.  Oh man, I was so sore on Sunday night and into Monday in a way like none other!  I guess that's to be expected after putting your body through 26.2 miles.

We didn't set an alarm and just slept until we woke up on Monday morning.  Since we'd gone to bed so early, we woke up relatively early, too.  Breakfast at Ann Sather followed once we finally got moving and then we continued onward to get our medals engraved at the Nike store down on Michigan.  It took about two and a half hours, but we left with an even more meaningful memento of our historic races.  The staff at Nike did a great job of controlling the crowd and keeping the line moving.  We also picked up some sweet marathon "Finisher" gear, too!  Next year, we may go to Fleet Feet for their engraving party but we found out about it after the fact.  We also made sure to pick up our commemorative copies of the Chicago Tribune and definitely looked up our names and finishing times among over 43,000 other runners.  What an amazing feeling, to be part of such a momentous occasion.

The rest of the week, we have spent relaxing and recovering and laying low.  On Tuesday, the weather was overcast and dreary.  We ended up out at IKEA, walking around and picking up a few things for the apartment.  We also went to a record store and added a few albums to our collection.  Yesterday was our "Treat Yo Self" day, complete with a spa pedicure and a massage--it was my first massage but definitely won't be my last!  The spa pedicure was a gift from a sweet coworker of mine and it was the perfect way to pamper ourselves after 18 weeks of training!  

Today is my last day of vacation, as I go back to work tomorrow; Tom still has a few more days off.  I feel refreshed, relaxed, and ready to tackle whatever comes my way.  I am very grateful for the uninterrupted time that Tom and I have gotten to spend together this week.  It's been very much needed and I certainly do not take it for granted; I'll be drawing from this wonderful week when the hours at work get long over the next couple of months.  Completing the marathon lifted such a weight off of my shoulders and also filled me with a huge sense of accomplishment and confidence that I know will benefit me in areas of my life other than just running.  I believe I am only just starting to understand all the ways that becoming a marathoner has changed and will continue change my life.  I'm really excited to see what I can do now that I've met such a huge, long standing goal!

I haven't been running since the marathon, but I'm thinking that's likely going to change today.  It's just so nice out!  The first sunshine we've had since Monday morning.  Especially after my massage yesterday, I feel more or less back to normal.  I intend on making yoga a regular part of my week, whether that's on Thursday nights with Tom or the Friday morning class I've attended previously.  I hope to run outside for as long as I can, and at that point I'll move into the gym.  I want to continue to work on strengthening, especially my core.  As far as my plans for future races, I'll likely end up doing a turkey trot of some sort in November.  I'm already signed up for the Shamrock Shuffle 8K in 2018, and I'm hoping I'll get the opportunity to complete the Chicagoland Half Marathon Series, competing in both the Chicago Spring Half Marathon and the Half Marathon in the fall.  

Also, if all goes according to plan, I'll be training again next summer to give the Chicago Marathon another go.  I really want to do it again, since I have a time to beat and all.  Knowing that I can do it, that I can complete 26.2 miles, makes the prospect of training for another one much easier and much less daunting.  Of course, I'm sure that other opportunities for races will come up here and there, but one thing I know for sure is that I've fallen in love with running again.  Can't wait to get out there and get those miles!  

Jess Goes Running: Champagne Wishes and Marathon Dreams

The 2017 Bank of America Chicago Marathon was this past Sunday and, spoiler alert...

We're marathoners!  We did it!! What an experience!  But to really get a feel for it we have to start from the beginning...

(Very long race report after the jump--thanks for reading!)

Jess Goes Running: Marathon Training, the last few weeks

Well, here we are.  17 days away from the Bank of America Chicago Marathon.  And it looks like all systems go for me--I'll be crossing the start line on October 8th!  I had a feeling that the last few weeks of training would likely be the most important and I was more or less correct.  Not only did I start running again, the very act of which had been causing me a lot of anxiety, but I ran my farthest distance ever, and then ran even farther than that.  I also graduated from physical therapy, after 2 long months!  Which brings us to today, 17 days away.  Am I nervous?  Yes, without a doubt!  But I am also excited, and determined.  This journey has been 2 years in the making and it is so close now.

My first farthest distance was 17 miles...  and it almost felt effortless.  The weather was cool and overcast and I settled into a rhythm early on.  I almost couldn't believe it, and I felt so fortunate to have had the experience.  Then I did the famous 20 mile long run--the longest distance of marathon training.  I set out on a Friday morning where it was already warm when I left and around 87 degrees at the midpoint of my run.  The first half wasn't so bad, but it definitely fell apart a little bit at the halfway point.  Luckily I had some great support along the way in Tom and my friend and running buddy Vicky (both of whom have also been training for the marathon over the last few months), who both encouraged me to keep going when I thought I'd have to quit.  It was hard, but I did it!  Five years ago I never imagined I'd be here, about to run a marathon.  What an awesome gift to myself, as cheesy as that sounds.

(Top: 17; Bottom: 20.)

Graduating PT was also a big deal for me, and a great feeling!  Even though I spent all summer going to Athletico twice a week, in a way I got kind of used to it and I am grateful for the experience.  My physical therapist did everything she could to get me over the diagnosis of recalcitrant plantar fasciitis and ready for the marathon.  I am so much stronger than I was two months ago, and I have a plan to continue gaining strength.  I have learned a lot about how my body operates and have seen just how connected every part is.  I feel better about running the marathon knowing I've spent the last couple months working on improving my fitness and strength.  In a way, I almost felt sad saying farewell--but this is my first weekend without a PT appointment and I gotta say, I am feeling pretty okay about it now!

So, what's next for me?  Tomorrow, I plan on running 6-8 miles at a gentle pace.  I managed to get a knot in my right quad at work, which is a returning issue from a few weeks ago, so I have been very careful while on the job and at home.  I've also been rolling it out a lot, and I'm feeling like tomorrow I should be able to give it a shot.  Saturday, just a 2-3 mile shakeout run before work.  And then, on Sunday, the Chicago Half Marathon!  I am so excited to be running this race again...  It is one of my favorites, and after not getting to participate last year because of my injury, I am glad to have the chance this time. (I ran it in both 2014 and 2015.) I am not going for a PR and treating this as a training run, especially with the warmer temperatures, but I am also going to give it my very best.  Vicky and I are going to the Expo tomorrow for packet pickup (I'll be picking up Tom's packet while I'm there also) and then on Sunday morning, we'll be running!  It's supposed to be in the 70s so I am hoping there will at least be a breeze.  We shall see!

After that, the next few weeks consist of easy runs until the big day.  I'm trying to stay hydrated and eat healthy, decreasing my alcohol consumption, and trying to get good sleep, too!  Taper time is here.  I've had such a strange training season, but I am still so happy to be here.  I am confident in my abilities to cross the finish line and I'm ready to leave it all out there on the course.  In a way, I feel like running this is like a love letter to the city--because marathon training has been, and is, such a labor of love for me.  And yet, I can't imagine it any other way.  Here I am, 17 days away from being a marathoner.  Here's to October 8th!

Jess Goes Running: Marathon Training, Up Until Now (Weeks 5-13)

Happy Friday!  Here I am, coming to you from the end of Week 13.  The marathon is just over a month away.  Somehow, we are here already!  At this point last year, I'd already gone on the run that ended training for me.  I'd already gotten the diagnosis and made the appointment for the ultrasound and knew I would be deferring; I knew I was done.

Well, it's the end of Week 13, and I'm still here--still fighting for this!  Still training for the marathon!  So that's something, and something huge at that!

I have sat down numerous times to write about this cycle of marathon training and every time I have come up short.  Last year, I was so excited about documenting the process, taking weekly progress pictures, pretty diligently writing about my runs and about training.  Even with my injury in July and the subsequent recovery from that, I pretty much stuck with it until I had to stop training.  Man, the ending of that was so hard for me, and so very emotional, but after going to PT for 3 weeks, my foot was feeling better and my heart knew I could try again in 2017.

I was hopeful, of course. I gotta be totally honest, though--nothing about this round of marathon training has gone the way I planned.   I have been sidelined by knee issues, migraines, long hours at work, flat tires that kept me up until 3 am, and of course, the recurrence of my foot injury: plantar fasciitis, that chronic partial tear in my left foot.  I started physical therapy in mid-July and I've been going twice a week ever since.  My current script goes through the end of September (we'll see if I actually get released then) which brings me almost to the end of marathon training.

Yes, even through all this, I am still training.  My PT is encouraging me to keep running and is helping me strengthen not only my feet, but my legs and my core.  This round of physical therapy has been incredibly enlightening and I am learning a lot about how my body operates.  I'm doing my best to get stronger both physically and mentally, as training for a marathon requires a lot of emotional strength and focus.  Especially when it feels like marathon training just hasn't gone as well as I would have liked, staying positive can be difficult; I am doing my best and trying to remain optimistic.

Even though it has been a ridiculous struggle, I have had a lot of great runs this training cycle.  I've gotten to explore some wonderful places and I've really felt strong and capable.  I've also had the chance to get out on my road bike for some great cross training on the lakefront.  I still have several weeks left, and I am determined to keep on with training.  I know it will require a lot of work, but I can't just give up on this now.  I have plenty of time!  I just need to remind myself of why I enjoy running, the reasons that made me fall in love with it.  As of now, I'll be crossing the starting line (and hopefully the finish line as well!) on October 8th, and I'll be taking it one day at a time to get there.

Jess Goes Running: Marathon Training, Weeks 3 and 4

Week 3.  
Saturday, as usual, was a rest day.  I was supposed to run 3 miles on Sunday but I ended up shifting everything forward a day... meaning that I would be doing my first run of the week on Monday morning.  I ended up doing run/walk intervals and it was tough but I got through the run.  I had been planning on running again on Tuesday morning (which is usually a rest day for me), but life had other plans... as I was leaving work on Monday night, I got a flat tire leaving the parking lot.  This led to a 2 hour wait for roadside assistance to come out and change the tire.  Needless to say, it was a very late night--I didn't get home until after 2:30 am and probably didn't fall asleep until closer to 3.

I didn't get my run in, but I figured I could just run on Wednesday after work.  Life got in the way again, though, as about halfway through my shift I came down with a headache that refused to go away.  I felt pretty miserable, and I knew on Thursday that running was NOT going to be an option.  (Insert sigh here).  I was feeling a little defeated but I knew that I still wanted to get the miles in anyway, so I went for a 4 mile walk up north to Pratt Beach and back.  It was hot, so hot, and so humid, and I don't know that it really helped my headache all that much, but I was glad I did it and got the miles in.

Friday was the last day of week 3 and I was supposed to run 5 miles.  I waited until the afternoon, until my headache was mostly gone, to give it an attempt.  I decided I'd just do an out and back on the Lakefront Trail since there would be good availability of water fountains to fill up my little handheld water bottle if I needed it, and it turned out that I did.  I felt like I was pretty well hydrated before I went out but I ended up needing to slow down pretty frequently--it was so hot and humid.  (This I've begun to notice is a common thread, thinking I'm hydrated when I could definitely be more, so I am trying to make a concerted effort to drink more water.  It's so simple but I am so busy during my workday that sometimes I forget!)  Somewhere around mile 2, I could feel the fringes of a headache coming on.  My foot and my knee were kind of bothering me a little bit.  I was so happy to get to 2.5 miles so I could turn around.

Ohh it was a struggle.  At mile 3.5 I could feel a panic attack coming on and I had to stop for a tiny break.  It was rough... but I had all but convinced myself I couldn't do it and if I couldn't run 5, how could I possibly do 26.2?  I did some breathing exercises and drank some more water, composed myself, and finished it up.  I reminded myself that I still had a lot of time left to go, and a lot of strength left to gain, and that it would be entirely possibly for me to make it happen.  I was definitely willing to try.

Week 4.

What a great week!  I got in all of my miles, which felt like a huge accomplishment.  I ran 3 miles on W4D3.  W4D5, I ran 4 miles on the LFT; it was cloudy and kinda stormy and the atmospheric conditions were perfect for an afternoon run.  Even though I had been up super early for work that morning (and the morning before), I still made it happen!

I did some cross training in the form of a 3 mile walk down Clark for W4D6--ended up checking out a coffee shop in the neighborhood that I'd always passed by, but never stopped in before.  It was a nice little adventure even if it was pretty humid out.  The next day, Friday, was long run day.  I had 9 miles on the schedule for the day, and I was bound and determined to make each and every one!  

In the end, I was successful.  I went all the way down to Belmont Harbor and then I came home.  It was challenging, but I was proud that I had gotten it done.   It was not without cost, though...  Near the end, I started having foot pain that, by the time I was home and had showered and went to get dinner with Tom, would not go away and did not feel okay.  It felt a lot like what I dealt with last summer, the pain and injury that would inevitably end my training early.  Being at the end of the 4th week, I knew I still had plenty of time.  I knew remaining cautiously optimistic and listening to my body was the best course of action.  From there, it was onward to the next week.

Jess Goes Running: Marathon Training, Weeks 1 and 2

Wow!  Here we are!  Somehow this came up more quickly than I thought it would; May was a busy month, though, so it's no surprise that all of the sudden, I was finding myself at the start of Marathon Training.  Again.  Oh man.  Knowing how things ended for me last year, I was, and am, bound and determined to not let it end that way again.  I am trying to really listen to my body and not be so hard on myself this year.  I really want this to be a success and I really want to cross that finish line in October.

Week 1 did not start out with a bang.  In fact, to my dismay, it ended up being a week of walking.  Long story short, I twinged my knee the Wednesday before training was set to begin.  On Sunday, which was supposed to be the day of my first miles, it was apparent that running was not going to be an option.  So... I did the next best thing.  I walked instead!  Miles are miles, and these early ones are all runs that I can handle and do regularly, anyway!  What was important to me was getting active while still allowing myself to heal.  For the long run?  I walked just about 5 out of 6 miles, still a workout to be sure!  As I progressed through the week, my knee bothered me less, but I still didn't want to push it that much.

It would figure that at the start of Week 2, just when my knee was starting to feel better, I came down with a summer cold.  Ugh, it sucks to be sick any time of the year, but when it's hot out, it's even worse.  I definitely didn't feel up to running through that, so I walked 3 miles on Sunday and took an extra rest day on Monday.  Tuesday was a planned rest day for me anyway; Wednesday I was supposed to do 3 miles, but I decided I would push it to Thursday as I still wasn't feeling the great and the weather wasn't particularly nice.  (Tom was supposed to run that night, too, for his own marathon training plan, but decided to postpone to Thursday as well).  Even that night, and into the day on Thursday, I wasn't really confident that I would be able to run on Thursday.

Except I knew I had to try.  I was starting to feel better from the cold, and my knee was feeling back to normal.  So I went out and did it.  3 miles, at run/walk intervals, and pretty slow (which I expected, as it was my first run in a few weeks), but I got through it and was no worse for the wear!  It was a pretty lovely sunset and I enjoyed it even though it was still pretty hot out.

Yesterday, the last day of Week 2, called for a 7 mile long run.  I really didn't think trying to run all 7 miles at once was a good idea, though, given I hadn't been getting that much distance the previous few weeks.  So, I went for what I figured was the next best option and split it up into 2 parts!  The first 3.5 miles took place in the afternoon, during the height of the heat and humidity, and it was pretty miserable.  I got through it but I wasn't sure if I really had it in me to do another 3.5.  I decided I would wait until later on in the evening, until it hopefully cooled down a little bit.  And sure enough, there was the most perfect cool breeze blowing in off the Lake.  The second run went much better, much more smoothly; I really enjoyed it!  The kind of run that makes you happy to be out there, doing it.  I ended up with 7.13 miles for the day and I considered that a smashing success!

Though it was not an ideal start, I am pleased with the effort I put into the first two weeks of training and the progress I have made.  So far, so good!  I expect that I will be back to running without walking intervals this week, and I'm looking forward to getting in the miles.  I'm feeling confident and ready for the work that lies ahead.  

Jess Goes Running: May and Marathon Training

I don't think I've ever been happier for spring, for warmer weather and longer days.  I feel like I did a pretty good job of staying active throughout the winter, despite my injury, and I've seen an increase in the frequency and duration of my runs (and walks, and yoga classes).  In fact, April was my most active month since marathon training abruptly ended last year.

Well, here we are--it's May.  I've done a good job of getting out there and getting in the miles, even though it has been a little challenging (just a lot going on both in and outside of work).  I've gone on some pretty sweet runs and I'm proud of the work that I have put in.  There were times when I was in the lowest points of my injury where I worried I'd never run and be active without pain again, that I'd never get back to my old self.

The truth is, I still have days where my foot hurts.  Recently I've been noticing a few lingering issues in my right foot, which up until now had been unaffected by the issues plaguing my left foot.  Now, I've been pushing myself a lot at work lately and it's very possible that it's just strained from that; it could also be the beginning of plantar fasciitis, which my doctor always said was a possibility.  It's also possible that it's nothing and I'm just paranoid.  In any case, I am listening to my body and I'm not pushing it.

Like over my weekend, for example.  It was a beautiful day and would have been perfect for a run, but my foot was bothering me so I took the bike out instead.  It was the second time I've gone biking this year, and it was not without its challenges but I'm still glad I went.  I'm so happy I bought my road bike last year; I never would have done such a thing if not for Tom, who inspired me to get into cycling in addition to running.  I touched on this in my instagram post yesterday, but for as much as I love running, there is something really fantastic about cycling, too.  I'm excited to see how cycling fits into marathon training and I look forward to having it as a cross-training option all summer.

Marathon training.  It's only a few weeks away.  To say that I am nervous is an understatement; I am terrified.  I know what I need to do to be successful and I am confident in my abilities but the "not knowing" is a lot to deal with--because I felt like I was getting along okay but I got hurt anyway, and in the end my entire plan came to a derailed abrupt end.  To defer the marathon once is one thing, but to have to do that twice?  I really don't to go down that road again, and I will do everything I can to avoid it, if I can help it.

So... I have a few weeks to prepare.  And then, I'll work on eating well and sleeping enough and getting those miles, slow and steady.  I will get stronger mentally and physically and hopefully, on that Sunday morning in October, I will cross the finish line after 26.2 miles through the city that has stolen my heart and soul.  That is what propels me through my doubts and my fears... I want it so badly, even though I know it's gonna hurt like hell, and I am willing to put in the work.  I press on in the hope that I will be rewarded with the sweet victory of even getting to the finish line, the opportunity to fulfill this challenge that has eluded me.  Ahh, 15 days.  Here we go!

8 Minute Memoir, Day 23: Suffering

The photo above is from my most recent run, on a Friday afternoon at Montrose Harbor.  I ran 4 miles right along Lake Michigan and I felt strong.  The best part?  My foot didn't really bother me at all, either during the run or after.  When I see myself in this photo, I see someone who is starting to find her identity as a runner again.  The word "suffering" immediately reminded me of my rather unceremonious end to marathon training and the chronic injury it left me with.

Really, I guess the first chapter started in July 2016.  But then at the very end of August of 2016, it got really bad.  And the diagnosis wasn't good, either, a chronic partial tear of my plantar fascia.  Just writing that out makes me physically shrink in discomfort.  It was a month (the start of a few months) of no running, of deferring my marathon entry, of trying to take it easy at work while I waited for the ultrasound that would seal my fate, which also lead to 3 weeks of physical therapy that, surprisingly, worked like magic.  

And in that, my physical suffering was, for the most part, almost totally reduced.  The emotional and mental aspects of dealing with chronic injury have been another thing entirely, and that has been a hard thing for me to deal with... the knowledge that while I can work 50 hours a week and run 4 miles (4 miles where I trended faster than I have since August) and live life without pain, my left foot will never be normal, really.  I'll be dealing with this for a long time.

I feel like that sounds rather despairing.  It's not that bad!  It's just not something I've dealt with until now.  I am optimistic about my running future.  Though the suffering and pain I dealt with was awful and challenging, and the adjustments I've had to make in my life over the last 6-8 months to sort through all of this have been a bit tough, I know that I am a stronger person because of all of it.  This weekend is my first race of the 2017 season, the Shamrock Shuffle 8K (my 4th time doing it!) and I'm feeling good.  I've learned a lot, and I'm looking forward to running that marathon in October.  

Happy New Year!

Today is the first day of 2017--a blank slate, a tabula rasa.  2016 was quite a year... parts of it were wonderful and amazing, parts of it were difficult and challenging.  I feel like I've started out the year on a great note...  I slept in, Tom made brunch (and it was delicious!), I did some writing, and we each went for a run (I ran just over two miles, he went for just over a 10K).  Now it's late afternoon, early evening, sunset, and we are relaxing in the apartment, making dinner tonight.

I have a few resolutions, goals, for the year.  I will be 29 this year, and, cheesy as it may sound, I want to make this the best year yet!  I am all about personal discovery and self-growth and I plan on making taking care of myself to the fullest an absolute priority.  I want to lose the next 15-20 pounds, become stronger, and hopefully, accomplish my goal of running the Chicago Marathon.  I want to write more regularly, more often... I want to find my voice again and the 8 Minute Memoirs, 52 Lists Project, and my new journal are providing an excellent start on this front.  I want to become a better cook, to learn more about food.  This will benefit me both personally and professionally and I am excited to venture out, to really make a concerted effort becoming a less picky eater.  I feel like all of these goals are reasonable and things I can accomplish over the course of the next 365 days.

I know that 2016 was difficult for many people, myself included.  Like I said, there were things I really loved about it... and things that I wish would have gone differently.  I feel optimistic about 2017; I am excited for the prospect of changing and growing and getting outside of my comfort zone.  I want to be open to love and the goodness of the universe.  I guess what I'm trying to say is, I want to live life to the fullest and savor every second.. take advantage of every opportunity.

This, the New Year's wish of the Eternal Optimist (and always mine, for as long as I can remember.)  May 2017 be the happiest, the very best!

Jess Goes Running: The Last Two Months

Hi!  Well, here we are... two months after my last Chicago Marathon training run, two months after I deferred my marathon entry to 2017.  I am surprised at how quickly the time has flown by between then and now.  Undoubtedly, a lot has happened, too!  Both in my personal life and my running life.  That's part of why I've been so quiet around here--and I definitely have a lot to catch up on!  I think I've also been just trying to process the events of summer and training and the recurrence of my injury.

The exciting thing is, I feel like I'm coming out on the other side of this whole thing!  You see, after I deferred my marathon entry, I still had a few weeks before my scheduled ultrasound.  I definitely wasn't doing any running... and work was hard.  I was in pain despite everything I was doing to curb it and it was rough.  I knew I had made the right decision in stopping my training but it was still a difficult thing for me to deal with.  It was hard to go from being incredibly physically active to virtually doing nothing so... I bought a bike!  This is something that Tom has been wanting me to do for a while and I figured that I finally had the perfect opportunity.  I LOVE it and I'm so happy I made the purchase.  More on that later!

At the end of the month, I had my ultrasound.  This was scheduled for the day after the Chicago Half Marathon, which I had also signed up for and also had to skip.  I was really sad to not be participating in it, as I really love the race.  However, I was incredibly excited to go down and cheer on Tom, who was running his very first half marathon race, and my training buddy V. who was also running it in preparation for Chicago.  I will admit that I was a little sad after I said goodbye to Tom and headed over to my spot in the middle of Lake Shore Drive, right near mile 4/mile 13.  However, it ended up being a really beautiful day, and Tom ran a great race, and I really enjoyed the day!

The ultrasound the next day revealed that I have a chronic partial tear in my left plantar fascia.  Really bad plantar fasciitis.  I was a mess during the week and a half leading up to the doctor's appointment where I received this diagnosis, and I was both relieved that it wasn't something worse and upset and scared by the reality of having a chronic injury.  I was given two options for treating this injury and I went with the one that I thought was better for me--physical therapy.  I called and set up my first appointment at Atlhetico for two days after the Chicago Marathon.

That day, race day, arrived more quickly than I thought it would.  Initially I wasn't sure how I wanted to handle the day.  I was dealing with some serious sadness and regret that I couldn't be out there.  Part of me really wanted to stay home.  But Tom and I ended up riding our bikes to watch the race at mile 8, and I was so very glad that we did it.  It was a beautiful morning!  And really so inspiring to be there watching the runners.  It gave me hope for 2017 and my future as a runner.  We got donuts and coffee and watched the marathon pace tracker app to keep an eye on my friend V. and a few other fellow runner friends.  Being able to give V. a high five when she passed by and to cheer her on made everything worth it--I was so happy that I could be there and see her!

After a bit, we got back on our bikes and headed over to the Lakefront Trail.  It was SUCH a gorgeous day.  We wanted to watch some of the marathon on the south end of the course, near the end, but we were obstructed by an unfinished pedestrian bridge over LSD.  Instead, we continued to ride around, checked out Northerly Island, and eventually made our way up to Pizzeria Uno for deep dish pizza and beers.  I came home that day feeling totally at peace and ready for whatever might happen as I forged on.

I was prescribed to go to PT twice a week for three weeks.  I was nervous but excited to start... also perhaps a little skeptical that it would be enough time.  However, I knew I had to go into it with an open mind and a willingness to do the work.  My physical therapist O. and I determined two goals for my treatment: to be able to work without pain and to start running again.  Ultimately, I found PT to be incredibly beneficial in my recovery!  First off, I had a lot of work done on my foot by way of deep tissue massage and muscle scraping to promote healing.  She and I also determined that I have weaknesses in my hips and in my left leg in general--and all of these things are connected!  So I was given exercises to help strengthen all of these areas and to improve my foot as well.

At the end of three weeks, O. and I determined that I'd had an almost total recovery in my range of motion and in the strength of my foot.  I'll admit I was a little surprised by this revelation.  I had been able to tell over the three weeks of PT that I was improving, but I didn't really realize how much until O. gave me the okay to try some running.  I started off very slowly--we're talking five minutes on the treadmill--but it was something!  On the last day of October, five minutes turned into two miles and I ran for the first time since August 28th.

It certainly was not my fastest run.  I could tell that I have lost fitness since my training came to a halt.  But I did it, I got out there and I ran and I made it happen.  It felt good to be out there, feet hitting the pavement, to be doing something that I love so deeply.  I continued the trend by going for a three (yes, three!) mile run yesterday.  I also went to the gym today.  Best part is that I haven't been in any pain.  I have been sore, and I am taking it easy on myself and not pushing it too hard.  It is clear to me that I have and am accomplishing the goals I set out for myself in PT--to work without pain, which has been a reality of mine since about halfway through my treatment, and to run again.  

So as I was saying before, the end of the three weeks, O. released me from her care and I officially graduated from physical therapy!  Got a t-shirt and everything.  I saw my doctor in a follow-up appointment, and he was incredibly pleased with my progress and happy to see that PT had worked for me.  He told me to keep up with the exercises I had been given, and said that I will probably always have to be vigilant; plantar fasciitis, especially the degree to which I have been experiencing it, can pop up at any time.  It's very possible that I will go a long time without any issues.  However, if I do find myself experiencing pain and issues again, all I have to do is go back to my doctor and he'll send me back to PT.  

I am confident in myself and my abilities, and I will do the work to keep myself healthy.  I might not be able to push myself as hard as I could before in my running (at least not yet) but I can get out there and I can reclaim that part of myself.  I am planning on signing up for the Chicago Marathon for 2017, as I have a guaranteed entry and see no reason to try again especially as I know what I can do to have a stronger training session next year.  In the meantime, I have signed up for the Evanston Flying Turkey 5K, my first race since the 4th of July 5K in Lincolnshire.  So excited to have something to work towards!  I'm also looking at races and very, very tentatively starting to plan my race schedule.  In addition to this, I'm ready to start hitting the gym again, not only for cardio and strength training, but also for yoga!  Hoping that will keep me motivated over the winter.  I am feeling refocused and refreshed.  I am so much more aware of my abilities and what I need to do to keep myself healthy and strong.  It's good to be back!

Jess Goes Running: Marathon Training--Week 13

I got ready for my first run of week 13, laced up my new shoes (excited to take them on their inaugural run!), and headed downstairs.  I stretched out my legs and feet, especially my left foot.  Though it was still sore from Sunday, where I had become afflicted with pain during my long run that was, unfortunately, not going away, I felt sure that I could at least jog.  I would do it even if I had to run slow.  I didn't even make it to the end of the next block before I was turning around and walking back.  

I felt pretty certain even then that what I was dealing with was another plantar fasciitis flare up.  I had gone just over a month without any pain whatsoever--I felt so strong even during the toughest of runs!--now it was obviously back and obviously making itself at home.  The pain was mostly concentrated to my heel and my arch this time, not up through my whole leg (I credit all the stretching that I have been doing for that).  By Wednesday, it was apparent that the condition of my left foot was deteriorating more quickly than I would have liked.  I called my doctor and got the soonest appointment I could with him-Friday at 9:45am.

This is the point where I very seriously started considering the fact that I may have to defer my marathon entry to 2016.  In a way, it kind of felt like strike two... and I knew that strike three would not be good.  Not only did I have to consider my running career, but also my general livelihood.  I'm 28 years old, still plenty young enough to not spend the rest of my life in pain because of this.  I wanted it so badly, I wanted to run the Marathon more than I could put into words, but I also knew I might go into that appointment and be told it was more or less over.

I once again found myself faced with a familiar scene.  I had been doing everything the doctor told me to do on a regular basis (and still am doing now) and had even dialed back my running intensity a little bit.  I was incorporating more run/walk intervals than I had been previously in training, in an effort to save myself the risk of pain.  Unfortunately, even though I had been so very careful, the pain was back and it wasn't going away.

Fast forward to the Friday before last.  I opened at work, in a pretty fair amount of pain, and pushed through to my appointment at 9:45.  I got into the exam room relatively quickly and didn't have to wait long to see the doctor.  After he greeted me, he told me that he was hoping I would get more than a month out of the cortisone shot.  "You and me both," I said in reply.  He prescribed me a round of prednisone oral steroids and also told me that he wanted me to get an ultrasound to really see what's going on in my foot.

It could just be really bad plantar fasciitis, or it could be something degenerative, or it could be a tear.  In any case, an ultrasound will show these things.  He encouraged me to continue to stay active--biking, swimming, using the elliptical, doing upper body exercises, controlled walking, hiking--but advised me against running.  "Too much pounding when we don't know what's going on in there."  As I'm on my feet at work for 50+ hours a week, I am already putting myself and risk and running is too much at this point.  He seemed optimistic that I would get back to it at some point, but definitely didn't want me running until after we figure out what's going on.

Even then those marathon dreams of mine started fading away, but when I made the ultrasound appointment, I knew I was done.  At least for this year.  I left the doctors' office and went back to work.  To say I was upset was a bit of an understatement.  Here I was, being told I couldn't do the one thing I had been training for for the last couple of months.  I really wanted to run that marathon--this year.  I had poured so much of my heart and soul into it and for it to just suddenly be over like that was disorienting and, quite frankly, a little devastating.

I was so sad, but so grateful for all the support I got (and continue to get) from my husband, family, and coworkers.  Everyone in my life has been so supportive and encouraging to me even as I've struggled a little bit with accepting this new reality and I am definitely so fortunate to have so many wonderful folks in my life.  I started the Prednisone treatment, set to icing and stretching and resting, and officially deferred my marathon entry to 2017 the following Monday, on Labor Day.  And in that moment, marathon training officially came to an end.

So many good things came out of the 13 weeks I spent training.  It definitely sucks that I don't get to run 26.2 in October.  But!  I lost about 10 lbs. over the course of training and am in better shape than I was at the beginning of training.  I ran my furthest distance ever--16 miles!  I learned discipline in following a training plan and running set distances.  I feel stronger physically and mentally...  and I have learned the value of patience.  This has been such an important experience for me on so many levels and I am so lucky, so happy, to have had the journey of 13 weeks of training for the 2016 Chicago Marathon.

Here's to taking it easy, finding new ways of being active, and my ultrasound (and eventual, hopeful, diagnosis) at the end of the month.  Eventually, I'll start running again, and I'll come back even stronger, even more determined.  I will make it happen, I will run that marathon next year.  Until then, I'll keep getting better, keep improving myself.  Here's to being active and enjoying the last of Summer, fall in Chicago.  Here's to 2017, and wherever the road leads to get there!

Jess Goes Running: Marathon Training--Week 12

(Yes, wore the same running outfit for two weekly pics in a row.  With 18 weeks of training, it was bound to happen!  Anyway, these are some of my favorite and most comfortable pieces of running clothing.  The tank top is from Old Navy; the leggings are from TJ Maxx.)

Going into week 12 of marathon training, I was feeling ready and excited to run.  I was definitely still riding the runner's high of my 16 mile run for sure; I was seemingly invincible, strong and ready.  But then, I spent the better part of Tuesday morning feeling dehydrated and out of whack after waking up early with a few, ahem, intestinal issues.  I only needed to run 4 miles, but knowing that I'd have to go into work and be on my feet for 10 hours made it seem like a monumental task.  So... I opted to take the morning off.  By the afternoon I was feeling better, but I was glad I hadn't pushed it too much.

I figured I'd just run Wednesday before work, but it was raining way too hard, and I am still working on running in the rain.  Even if it hadn't been raining, I probably still wouldn't have gone out--I also woke up with some tightness in my right quads, lingering from work the night before.  Instead of running, I went for a walk instead, getting in about a mile in the pouring rain.  I walked close to 2 miles on my lunch break later on in the afternoon, managing to get in 3 miles total for the day.  The pain in my thigh sidelined me on Thursday as well, as I rolled it out with my massage muscle roller (seriously, this thing is awesome) and stretched and waited for it to feel less weird.  I mean, I tried to go on Thursday, but even just running halfway down the alley and back didn't really feel right to me.

I felt like I did a good job of staying positive despite the setbacks I had throughout the week, but truth be told, I was feeling a little discouraged about how the week was panning out.  Friday and Saturday, I was just exhausted after a long week of work on top of the running issues and my body probably wouldn't have run even if I wanted it to.

Look, I know these things are all excuses.  I know if I really wanted to, I probably could have gone out running on Wednesday in the rain, even though I would have been miserable.  But I also know that I needed to listen to my body, and my quads definitely did not seem to be up to the task.  I know that when it comes down to it on October 9th, I'm the one out there running 26.2; nobody else is gonna do it for me.  The marathon training thing can be monumentally difficult sometimes.  I have been challenged so many times.  But I am learning, and I am growing.  And I know I have the strength to do it.

So this morning, for my week 12 Sunday run, I was set to run 12 miles.  And I fully intended on it; mentally, I felt great about it and even though the humidity was so brutal, I was willing and working to push through it.  I did a ton of stretching and felt very limber and strong, despite the fact that I had only gone for a few walks during the week.  I went five miles down the Lakefront Trail and turned around.  Despite the humidity, it was a beautiful morning!  Unfortunately, somewhere around mile 6, my foot (the one afflicted with plantar fasciitis) started feeling tight.  It never really went away or got better.  I found myself faced with a dilemma in that moment.  Push to the end?  Or shift focus to a slower distance.

Before heading out, I had promised myself that I was going to reclaim my training plan, so to speak, that I was going to overcome the excuses and the doubts and make it happen, starting with this 12 mile run.  The practical part of my brain, though, kept telling me that I shouldn't play through the pain--because what if I made it worse?  So even though it kind of bummed me to do it, I called it at 10 miles.  10.2, to be exact.

Besides the issues with my foot, I felt great!  I was in a good spot, and would have been able to keep a slightly faster pace if it hadn't been so very humid out.  Running 12 miles didn't seem like a big deal to me.  I was excited, I was energized.  I was well prepared as far as fueling and hydration, though it almost felt impossible to keep up with all the sweating I was doing.  And I shaved 25 seconds off my time from my long run last week, which feels awesome!  Definite progress.  It was a great run, even if it wasn't quite the length I wanted.

This all leads me to tonight: here, on the verge of week 13 and another new month of training.  This is it.  As of right now, there are 41 days until the Chicago Marathon.  Excuses will not cut it; I need to listen to my body, of course, but I need to stop being scared to push it if everything feels fine.  I can and I will!  This is the time to make it happen.  I had a conversation with Tom the other night in which he asked me what I expected other than to be sore from marathon training... and he's right.  I am pushing my body to the limit--of course I am sore!  But I am also getting stronger.  And I know I have the tools and ability to succeed.  Even though it feels like I'm at the bottom of a roller coaster lift hill, slowly inching towards the top, I am excited for the next 41 days and whatever comes next.

Jess Goes Running: Marathon Training--Week 11

We meet week 11 of training for the Chicago Marathon on a sunny 4 mile run by the Lake.  I took an extra day of rest, shifting everything forward to Wednesday.  The schedule looked like this: 4, 8, 4, 16.  Yes, you read that right.  Week 11's long run was scheduled for 16 miles.  I spent all week hyping myself up for it.  Especially after how poorly my half marathon attempt had gone a few weeks ago (in retrospect, probably my worst run of training), I felt like I really needed to work up the courage and the physical fortitude to get it done.

So Wednesday was 4 miles, and I took it a little slower as I was still dealing with a bit of tightness in my calf from the previous Sunday's running adventure.  I felt like I was really tuned into my rhythm and pace, and the tightness never really progressed into anything worse.  I would have preferred to run it a little faster.  I got it done, though, and felt really good about it!

On Thursday, after work, I set out for an 8 mile run.  I felt a little daunted by the distance, but knew I would be okay because I had already done 13.1 miles, 9 miles.  This was my first run with my new Garmin Forerunner 220, and I LOVED it!  I made the decision to purchase a GPS running watch knowing that from here on out, the distances get longer so better accuracy than my phone would be nice.  Plus, it just looked so cool, and I received a bonus at work and had a bit of Amazon credit so I got it at a pretty good price!  I've only taken it out a couple of times but it definitely seems worth the investment so far.

The run was challenging at times, but I got through it!  Actually ended up running a little over 8.  I ran by myself, singing loudly as the sun set and I ran down the Lakefront Trail.  I felt really good after that run, and I felt like I was in a good headspace post-run.  I ended up taking Friday off from running, even though I had initially been planning on running 4 miles.  My body needed the rest.  This leads us to Sunday morning, and the long run.

Not just any long run... but the longest run of training so far, and also, the farthest distance I have ever run--16 miles.  I set out a little later than I wanted and headed south on the Lakefront Trail.  It was a crowded morning on the path, even more so as I got closer to downtown.  After all, Sunday was the second day of the Air and Water Show.  So by the time I got down to around Fullerton Beach, it was almost impossible to do anything other than walk.

I took the opportunity to rehydrate and enjoy some of the places.  Pretty dang impressive what they can do!  I ended up turning around before Oak Street Beach, making it 7 miles before I went back up north.  I did the last 2 miles near home, definitely feeling it there at the end.  But when all was said and done, I did it!  My farthest run ever.  The longest distance.  I did it, I made it happen.  And now that I have, it's amazing the mental freedom I seem to have over those lengths.  Don't get me wrong--I have an impossibly large respect for the distance.  But I also know what I am capable of, and I know if I work hard and I put my mind to it, I can accomplish even more than this.  The sky is the limit!  I ended this week of training feeling positive and optimistic for the next one.